So, 13 years old, hanging out with my best friend Paula, a little bored (as 13 year olds are inclined to be), it’s Easter, a few stray eggs lying around, and whaddya know, the ‘chocolate smile’ is born. What a hideous creation. It involves stuffing as many chocolate eggs into your mouth as possible, chewing them up until they’re nice and slimy (but still with a few lumps for effect) – then giving the sickliest, sweetest smile you can. You get the picture – not pleasant at all. Worst still, it’s a tradition that just won’t go away. Even today, as middle-aged women, Paula + me + chocolate in a room together = gross. I seriously recommend you DO NOT TRY THE CHOCOLATE SMILE AT HOME (or you too may get hooked). Instead, why not check out these somewhat more appetising ‘things to do with chocolate’…
ULTIMATE CHOCOLATE TART
500g best quality dark chocolate
325 ml cream
225 ml milk
3 large eggs (fresh as and room temp)
1 packet of sweet pastry (or make your own if you can be bothered)
Base: Roll out the pastry into a large (maybe 24cm wide x 4cm or so deep) spring-form tart tin. Blind bake for 5 mins at 180ºC using pastry weights (or rice, beans or lentils will do – put your baking paper on top of the pastry case first and fill up with weights evenly). After 5 mins remove baking paper and weights and bake until lightly golden, it won’t take too long, keep an eye on it. Remove and cool. Reduce oven to 135ºC.
Filling: Combine milk and cream and bring to the boil (just). Gently melt the dark chocolate over a pot of boiling water and whisk in the milk and cream. Beat the eggs and whisk into the dark choc. Pour into pastry case.
Bake the lot at 135ºC until the filling is firm but still trembling in the middle. This does not take too long (maybe 10-15mins? depending on your oven), just keep an eye on it and you’ll know when you have it right as when you pull it out it is just firm and has a glossy sheen (don’t let it go matt). Serve warm with mascarpone (or vanilla ice cream), a short black and some berries and/or a shot glass of Frangelico. Grown-ups will go weak at the knees. This recipe is also great for baby tart cases.
CHOCOLATE MACAROONS
230g best quality dark chocolate
2 large egg whites at room temperature
pinch of salt
1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups long thread desiccated coconut
Preheat the oven to 170°C. Melt the chocolate in a bowl over simmering water, remove from heat and cool for 15 mins. Beat the egg whites and salt until stiff peaks form and, continuing to beat, slowly add sugar then vanilla. Beat for another 5 mins until stiff and glossy. Fold in the melted, cooled chocolate. Then fold in the coconut. Put large tablespoons of the mixture on to a baking tray lined with non-stick baking paper. Cook until crisp on the outside but chewy in the middle (about 20 minutes, but take one out and break open to check). Remove from the oven, cool and dust with cocoa.
CHOCOLATE BANANAS
Take a banana and slit it length-ways (from end to end) but without cutting through the skin on the other side. Push the ends towards one another to open the banana up a little then stuff with chocolate (any chocolate will do – dark, milk, chips, chunks, caramello, even nutella works), then wrap the whole thing in tin foil and bake in moderate oven for 15-20 mins (until skin is blackened/chocolate melted). The kids love it, they’ll yummy it up straight out of the skin. 50% good for you.
– Danielle
The Gannet 